


Teabags

by LordiTheUltimate



Category: PAYDAY (Video Games)
Genre: Blow Jobs, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluffy Ending, Frenemies, Friends With Benefits, Kink, M/M, Not a Love Story, Not really love but something alike, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 10:49:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5331419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordiTheUltimate/pseuds/LordiTheUltimate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So Hoxton has been cruising around in Houston's apartment and it has not always been a smooth sail. However things may be turning out for the better, thanks to a certain 'event' that went down a couple of days ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Teabags

**Author's Note:**

> I’m in the mood for pointless porn without plot. Also I’m totally in love with the Payday games, motherf*cking wankers! (sorry)  
> Also I actually really enjoyed writing Hoxton’s lines because he’s so British. And such a douche.  
> This was by all honesty the most vulgar and crude thing, I’ve written and that includes all of my drafts. But for me to expand my smut horizon, I guess this is what must be done. 
> 
> Also I’ve said this in my LoL fic that smut is not my forte, so please leave a review.  
> Side note: Hoxton is often referred to as a Brit. Actually he is English (England only) but I’m just gonna call him British since England is a part of the United Kingdom of Britain.

“Don’t drop the soap, lassie.” Hoxton mocked form behind the locked door, much to the everlasting annoyance of Houston. “Shut the fuck up, dammit! I’m almost done.” The blonde shouted frustratingly as he swept the tiled floor. Why in the world did he allow himself to take in this British asshole?

Houston threw the sweeper at its place and stormed out. “There, finished. Don’t make a mess in there, I just cleaned up.” he walked past Hoxton, heading directly for his bedroom. Who would have guessed that having a housemate was so exhausting? “Jesus, calm down. I’m only going for a piss.” Hoxton rolled his eyes as he took a look into the bathroom.

“You’re not completely useless, lassie. This looks like the fine work of a French maid. Now tell me, what brothel did you clean up at?” He smirked, not bothering to close the door before taking a piss.

Lassie, another nickname provided to Houston by the Brit. At least it sounded better than shithead or fuckface. Though he wondered what triggered him to call him such. “Just… don’t use all the water. Bills here are a bitch.”

 Hoxton did not answer right away, instead he looked at Houston. There was a moment of awkward silence between them, rubbing the blonde in a weird sense. “Wanna fuck?”

“Uh, what?” Houston arched an eyebrow, mentally face palming. Of all the things to say, this motherfucker had to say that! The Brit, not satisfied with Houston’s blunt answer took matters into his own hands. Quickly, he grabbed Houston’s wrist, frowning lightly.

“ ’the fuck are you doing?” Houston shouted, trying to pull his arm back but Hoxton had a firm grip around it as he dragged him inside the bathroom. “Why so serious?” Hoxton frowned deeper, once he closed the bathroom door.

“Because I’m not a fucking faggot.” More confused that pissed, Houston crossed his arms, resting against the sink.

“Neither am I.”

“Then why are you coming on to me?”

“Don’t be such a stick in the mud. You liked it last time, didn’t you?” Hoxton neared the blonde, his usual douchebaggery had changed to impatient aggravation.

“I was drunk off my ass! By the way, why do _you_ suddenly want to do it now?”

“Because I’m bloody horny, but I can’t go the local cathouse because police are after my arse! So you have to do. Again.” Hoxton, more frustrated began to unbutton Houston’s pants.   

“Fucking hell… I can undress myself, y’know.” the blonde pushed him away. “Giving me a strip show, lassie? Wanking in front of me?” the Brit returned to his smugness. _“Fucking twat”_ Houston cursed in his thoughts.

“Just shut your mouth and let’s get this over with.” Houston pulled off his t-shirt and his pants, only standing in a pair of boxers and socks. For whatever reason, his body was beginning to tense up. His muscles tightened around his crotch, much to the man’s everlasting shame. But it could not be helped, somehow he would get a hard-on whenever he thought of that one time. In all honesty, part of him felt equally depraved of some “comfort” but as hypocritical as it sounded, he was not gay. So why did he get so aroused by a stuck-up Brit?

Hoxton rolled his eyes, walking over to the blonde “Calm down, you angsty Yankee.” He said, or rather whispered as his hand suddenly found way to Houston’s growing erection. “Thinkin’ of me must really make you hard, lassie.”

“So what?” Houston looked away, feeling himself succumbing deeper into his own lust ; even if there was a layer of fabric between his cock and Hoxton’s hand, the sensation was still intense enough make his breath erratic. “Such a brat Dallas has for a brother. Wonder what he would say, if he knew that his baby brother enjoyed having his dick touched like this.” The Brit whispered in the blonde’s ear.

“Cum for me, lover boy.” He hissed, rubbing faster. Faster and faster, he continued, now slipping his hand underneath Houston’s boxers. “You like that, huh?” Houston’s legs began to tremble beneath him, the climax coming to a close. “You’re so fucking dirty like this. I almost wanna call you a harlot.” Hoxton smirked.

Clutching his fists on the sink, Houston threw his head back moaning in pure pleasure as his muscles tightened, leaving a wonderful tingle all over his body and the pleasurable pressure building in his crotch explode to a mosaic of ecstasy.  

“…Fuck.” Houston breathed out as the aftershocks of the climax left his body, little by little. The pressure in his crotch released itself. White substance dripped from his now-limp member. “Nice.” Hoxton seemed impressed of his own dirty work, his hand was still covered in semen.

 “Now bend over.” He commanded.

“Hell no. I could barely sit for a week!” Houston gasped.

“Well, that was your own bloody fault! If you had stopped asking for another round, I wouldn’t have to pound your arse so much. For a second, I seriously thought you were fucking bleeding!” The Brit grabbed some toilet paper to wipe his hands with, ignoring Houston’s increasingly blushing. “Y-y-you could at least slowed down, you animal!”

Hoxton’s hazel eyes grew dark, not with rage though, sending uncomfortable shivers down the blonde’s back. The Brit stormed over to Houston, pushing him against the sink. His hand found its way to the blonde’s buttock, grabbing it firmly. Houston yelped by the gesture much to the joy of Hoxton.

“Now tell me, how the fuck was I supposed to slow down with that tight little arse of yours? And let’s not forget your constant begging for me to fuck you. It’s not easy when my cock gets stuck in there and you won’t let ‘im go. ” He squeezed harder.

“Creatively vulgar. Are all British bastards like that?” Houston whimpered with a small smirk on his face.

“Don’t give me that shite! I’m English, not British.”

“Same shit.”

“Whatever.  Are you going to turn around or what?”

“Not this time.” Houston made a feeble grimace.

“Fucking tease. All right, I have another idea. Get down on your knees.” Hoxton commanded, fiddling with his zipper with one hand as he let go of Houston with the other. He pulled out his limp cock “Suck me.” he said, nonchalantly, waving the tip in the face of Houston, who was wary of his next move. He may had licked the cunt of some girl but never had he ever imagined having a dick in his mouth. However the vulgar idea poked his curiosity, despite the fact that he never had any desire for another man up until this point.

“Consider it a pussy. With an L-rod.” Hoxton pressed the tip against Houston’s mouth, pressuring him to open it. After much teasing, the blonde finally obliged. At first he was disgusted by the taste of sweat and piss, mixed with a little salt. This was certainly very different than a girl’s vagina; it didn’t have the warm wet sensation. But then again some of the girls had pussies like Niagara Falls so the cock could only be considered an upgrade.

Hoxton’s hands found themselves grabbing Houston’s head, pressing his entire length inside him. “That’s good. For a newbie, you are something else.” he smiled, thrusting into Houston’s mouth. However the blonde protested as he took the hands of the Brit and moved them away. He then began sucking, pulling back a bit for air. He licked the tip, with a teasing streak as the sweet precum leaked on his tongue. Feeling Hoxton’s tights tense up, the blonde snorted pleased; it seemed that he was doing it right.

“Fuck yeah, this is the shite.” The Brit breathed out, his hands clutched tightly. His cock was now fully erect, twitching every time Houston’s tongue made contact with it. Houston wanted to experiment, his vulgar curiosity fully awoken as he searched for that one sensitive spot. He wrapped his hands around the tip, rubbing slowly as his tongue continued to explore the tip and nearby area, making Hoxton grunt in pleasure

It was not like Houston knew how a dick worked, hell he had one himself. But the thought of giving a blowjob had never occurred to him. Whether Hoxton were gay or bi or straight did not really matter by this point and it did not really matter for Houston, especially not after an awkward couple of days after his crazy stunt where he went and asked for sex from Hoxton of all people in a drunken stupor. But what could a man do, when he was one of two guys sitting alone in an apartment, eating pizza and drinking their brains out while watching porn?

Even though Houston didn’t think of himself as gay, it was irrelevant now. He had a one-night-stand with another man and now he was on his knees, giving head to said man. Now where the opportunity had appeared, he could just as well take it. And enjoy himself in the process.

Finally, he had found the spot, right under the tip. He took the cock in his mouth, letting his tongue play with the frenulum. A revealing moan escaped Hoxton’s lips, as he panted harder. He began thrusting again, putting his entire length into the blonde’s mouth. He gasped incoherent words as he closed his eyes, throwing his head back.

Seeing the Brit’s ecstasy, Houston hurried his pace. He continued on until Hoxton suddenly jerked his lower body forward, startling the blonde as a sticky, salty substance filled his mouth. “Oh my fucking God!” Hoxton cried out as he came before bending over, his hands resting on the sink. For a short while, the two men stood there, the Brit catching his breath. He pulled him now-limp penis out of Houston as white droplets fell on the tiled floor.

“…Give yourself a gold medal, Houston. That was fucking amazing.” Hoxton sighed, as he watched the blonde getting up from the floor and heading wordlessly for the toilet.

“Ugh, I feel like I just drank the Atlantic Ocean mixed with jello.” Houston grimaced after spitting the semen out in the toilet and flushing.  

“Look on the bright side, lassie. You made me happy. I can’t remember the last time, I had a blowjob that fucking good.” Hoxton wrapped his arm around Houston’s shoulder, “So, are you letting me in your bed, this time?” he rocked a little from side to side, as he used his other hand to zip his pants. The idea was appealed to Houston in theory, he could still be in use of a little comfort.

“There’s only space for one person. Besides, I think the couch is much more comfortable than my old-ass bunk of a bed.”  

 “There’s spiders in your living room. I ain’t sleeping there now.”

“You gotta be shitting me. Are you seriously afraid of spiders?” Houston tried hard to hide his laugher, but failed badly. “Yeah, I’m a pussy so what?” Hoxton, not amused pouted his lips. Whether or not that was just a cheap shot from Hoxton’s side, it still amused the hell out of Houston and more “I just think that’s… adorable.”

“Bollock! Do I look like someone considered ‘adorable? Now, I’ve been called a lot of shite but this… is something else!” The Brit smirked smugly, not sure if he should take that statement seriously.

“Well, it gave me a reason to like you a little more. Just a little though.” Houston smiled, albeit a little sassily. Though he had to admit, that he liked the Brit a whole lot more.  

“…Why thank you. Guess, we’re mates now. Dallas must be proud.” Hoxton patted the blonde’s shoulder, pulling him closer.   

“Do you want a beer? I really need to wash the taste of your jizz out of my mouth.”

“Sure, lassie. But you gotta admit you liked it, right?”

“… If it makes you sleep at night, then yes.” Houston blushed a bit as they headed outside the bathroom. Honestly, he had enjoyed himself a lot more than he had imagined. He smiled to himself as Hoxton gave his shoulder a squeeze, rather affectionately.

“…It does. By the way, thanks for letting me crash here, I don’t think I got to say that yet.” It was quite rarely for Hoxton to speak as he did now. the man always kept his word but he always did so with such douche pride and for him to suddenly sound so humble always caught other members of the gang off guard, let alone Houston who had never heard him like that. Whenever that rare occasion would rise, only Dallas, Chains or Wolf would bear witness. Then again they had the man’s respect. It was not because Houston longed for the same respect, but he could always better concentrate when he was on better terms with the people, he put his ass on the line with. This ‘friendship’ had to start somewhere, right?

Houston paused, as he headed for the fridge. “Err, that’s fine. A-Okay. Catch.” He threw a beer over to the Brit, feeling a little happier than before. “By the way, Hoxton. You better not be tossing around in the room. Limited space, y'know.” He smirked, walking over to the bedroom door. "I swear in the name of the queen herself. I'll be good." the Brit took a long swig of his beer as he followed the blonde.

Perhaps living with a British bastard wasn't going to be such a nightmare, after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Haven't been online for a little while. Xmas and and school are bitches but only the former is a good bitch.


End file.
